watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize