Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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