Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
