what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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