Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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