STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
