So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
