Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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