Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
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Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
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Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.