Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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