i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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