We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Enjoy the penises
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
