he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
