Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I supernannyed him into submission
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
