your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
