I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm both gender and math confused
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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