i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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