I CAN MOONWALK!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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