i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
