Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
