And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
