Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
