Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
