And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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