I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
