I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
