Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
