Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
