You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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