So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
