We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
