i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
