i can't believe i had my finger in that
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
