it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
