this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
