i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
well you can't waste a boner
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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