Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
