A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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