I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
