:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
