she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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