I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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