a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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