If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
