Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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