rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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