they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
