Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
