just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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