Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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