Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
