have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
