when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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