new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
