Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize