It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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