Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
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