I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
