He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
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the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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