Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
