Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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