i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
