How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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