she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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