Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
