A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
